In Memory of My One and Only Love ~ DJ ~
David J. Admirand
January 17, 1955 to November 18, 2020
RIP DJ, my love, until we meet again…
DJ and Me Summer 1975
When I was twelve, I visited with my great-aunt who allowed me to stay up all night. I took her at her word and stayed up to watch The Late, Late, Late Show. Errol Flynn as Captain Blood caught my eye as he grabbed hold of a rope and leaped across the heaving quarter deck. When I closed my eyes, I felt the salty spray splash my face and the wild wind whip through my hair. He captured my heart as he swept Olivia de Havilland into his embrace. My knees would weaken, as I pictured myself being the recipient of his ardent kisses. He was strong, honest, brave, and true to his lady fair. All of my daydreams featured him as my fantasy hero until Tyrone Power slashed his way across the silver screen and into my dreams, brandishing his foil, fighting for the good of the common man as the mysterious, masked Zorro.
My fantasy hero had dark hair, a whipcord lean build and serious eyes, but he had begun to evolve. I added bits and pieces of Gary Cooper, his endearing shyness and quiet strength. John Wayne’s self-deprecating humor added depth to my evolving fantasy man, who now had the addition of broad shoulders, quiet strength and the ability to laugh at himself.
As I grew and matured, so did he, although the essence of the man never changed. He was still physically and emotionally strong, brave, honest to a fault, and unyielding in his preconceived convictions of right and wrong. His slightly crooked smile and flashing eyes made my heart melt. But best of all, his undying devotion to me remained unshakable.
My fantasies continued to keep me company through high school until the night my fantasy world was shaken, and my heart was snatched away by a broad-shouldered young man with a crooked smile, sun-kissed hair, and flashing green eyes. He swept me into his arms, staking his claim in front of his rival. He was persistent in his pursuit of me. Enthralled, I let myself be pursued. As we dated, and his inner self was revealed, I found him to be the embodiment of the qualities I had given my fantasy hero: honest, brave, and true. The flesh and blood man made my romanticized silver screen idol seem shallow and lifeless. DJ became my fantasy hero personified.
DJ and Me on our Wedding Day August 4, 1979
With him by my side, I knew I had nothing to fear. I leaned on him when tragedy struck, certain that I would never smile again, but he coaxed a smile from my frozen lips. When I lost belief in myself, he remained steadfast in his belief in me, helping to come to grips with the realization that while I was less than perfect, I was human and still worthy of being loved and giving love. No fantasy man, no matter how perfect or which sterling qualities I had endowed him with would ever have been able to accomplish what DJ has.
We share a friendship that began 45 years ago and has endured whatever life has thrown in our path. The road has been rocky along the way, but its potholes and pitfalls have made the smooth sections that much sweeter. DJ’s heart-stopping smiles and flashing green eyes still seduce me in a heartbeat. Our love for one another has grown and evolved into something deeper than my teenage heart could neither have imagined or understood.
DJ and Me at the Applewood Winery Book Signing Fall 2016
Living life and giving my heart to him is so much sweeter and more fulfilling than living alone, sitting on the couch replaying old movies of my heroes on the VCR. I trust his love without question, and I know that he trusts in mine. I opened my heart to the promise of love and was rewarded when he in turn opened his heart to me. We are all human, and by natured, flawed. Look closely at those flaws and you may find the essence of your fantasy man. Your love may be the key that brings out his heroic qualities. Take a chance, open your eyes and your heart. Your fantasy hero is out there, he just needs that extra dash of polish that only a loving heart can provide.
©1997, Revised ©2012 & 2020
Dear Colleen,
The beauty of your love shines all through this loving portrayal. May your memories sustain you.
Your kind words mean so much to me. Thank you so much, Cris.
I could picture your fantasy man come to life. You both were very lucky to have each other and as he watched over you in life he will be there in spirit watching over you now.
Thanks, Kelley. We were so lucky to have all those years together. You’re right, he is still watching over me. Thank you for reminding, me.
That was a wonderful tribute. I wish I could have known him. Knowing how sweet you are just makes the love you show for your husband even sweeter,
He was my one and only love since I was 17…thank you so much, Debbie.
Beautifully written! Now I need a tissue.
Thank you, Judy…wish we lived closer, I’d share my box with you <3
Oh my dear friend, what a life you lived with the man of your heart and dreams. I only hope that in my life I will find a love and man like your DJ.
I’ve never been married and atr 57 all I can do is pray that the Lord brings me a Godly man. After reading about DJ, I sure believe that God brought you that Godly man. I’m here for you if you need me. Love you my friend!
We really did have a wonderful life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You never know when you’ll meet that special someone God has planned for you, my friend. Where you least expect him…that’s where he’ll be, waiting for you. Thank you for the kind words, Teresa.
We are part of the people who we share I life with. I am not sorry I did not get to know him, because knowing you I do know a part of him. For the smiles you always have when I saw you had to come from how happy you were in you journey together.
Oh, Pat, you’re absolutely right! And we’ll always carry a piece of them with us. Thank you so much for the lovely words.
What a lovely tribute to your love. May God’s love comfort you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, Barbara.
Oh, Colleen. I could picture your fantasy man as I read this. DJ fit the picture perfectly.
Life may never be the same, but you’ll always have the wonderful memories of DJ in your life.
DJ has joined God and will continue watching over you. He’s forever in your heart.
Oh my goodness, Patty, I’m so glad you could picture DJ that way, too. Thank you for the kind words. You’re right, life won’t be the same. It’s the next phase. We were blessed to have 45 years together. He was my first and only love and I will always treasure our life together. It’s such a comfort knowing he’s with God now and not suffering. He’ll be able to see his dad again, he passed away in June 2 weeks before his 92nd birthday. That’ll be a happy reunion for them.
What a beautiful testament of love. He will RIP and love for you fotever.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Patt <3